I’ve been pondering what to share in this newsletter all month long. I believe I, like many of us, have experienced a great deal of emotional upheaval these last few weeks. I am certain I’m not the only one plagued by feelings of overwhelming helplessness. It’s hard when there’s so much madness in the world that you start to feel small and insignificant. Like nothing you could possibly have to say could ever matter at all. I kept wishing I would be hit with some profound thought-provoking wisdom that I could share in order to offer up some sort of comfort. Ultimately, I came up with heaps of ideas all of which led to very little in the way of shareable material. Well, at least I thought it wasn’t shareable. Mostly though, I felt it wasn’t particularly worthy of sharing.
When I began this creative endeavour, I had committed myself to writing one newsletter a month and releasing it on the first of each month. I wanted to prove I could be creatively reliable (what does that even mean?) without falling into rigidity, perfectionism, or worry. Well, you know what they say about best laid plans? I feel like I’ve done nothing but worry this last month.
However, earlier this week I watched a lovely Christmas movie with a friend, The Noel Diary on Netflix (heart-warming, cute, romantic) and in it, one of the characters quoted her father as saying,
“No creative idea is ever wasted”.
When I heard this something clicked into place in my brain. I experienced a shift in perspective.
This newsletter is part of my creative practice. It’s an experiment in discomfort. In learning how I want to show up in my writing life. I don’t know all the answers, no one does! But so much of our daily life is filled with people claiming to have all of the answers. Answers to questions we never would have thought to ask.
Does she, or doesn’t she? Where’s the beef? How many licks does it take? Do you eat the red ones last?
We’re inundated with questions and then given the answers—like they are revealing the mysteries of life itself—as if we ever cared where the beef was in the first place!
Now I’m wondering if marketing is simply the offering up of certainty in an incredibly uncomfortable, and uncertain world? I don’t know the answer to that either.
What I do know however, is that some of the most reassuring moments in my life have been when someone else shares that they also don’t know, but despite this, they stay with me in the confusing muck of it all.
So, that’s what I’m going to do today. In the name of creative discomfort, here’s a small snippet of the list of questions I’ve been pondering over the last month. Because I think I have a lot to say about all of these things but I don’t have the words or answers just yet. However, despite not knowing, I am certain it’s okay.
Please feel free to ponder or journal about these questions, and if you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.💖
How can I help?
How do I protect myself, while speaking my truth?
How do I teach myself to fail graciously?
How do I begin to feel safer and more comfortable with competition and conflict?
How do I increase my tolerance for discomfort in the most self-caring way possible?
What do you say when you just don’t have the words?
What does “reaching new heights” in our healing even mean?
Does healing ever end?
Lastly, I’m going to leave you with this poetic request I created early on in my recovery journey. I hope it offers you some comfort and the permission to be gentle with yourselves. Because living on this planet is just hard sometimes and if there’s one thing I believe could solve most all of our problems, it’s gentleness. For ourselves, and for others.
Until next time, please take really good care.💖
The most comforting read 🫶🏾
I’m so grateful for another place to absorb your wisdom through your writing <3 As always, sooo much of what you share here resonates with me.
Thoughts that came up reading it…I love your description of this being an experiment in discomfort, and my soul responded “aren’t all creative endeavors??” The idea of marketing offering up certainty in an otherwise uncertain (and therefore uncomfortable) world….yessss! That rings so true and I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective before. Would that make the remedy instead to find a certain amount of tolerance for discomfort instead? And to that end I’ll be pondering (and more than likely writing about) your question “how do I increase my tolerance for discomfort in the most self-caring way possible?”
My thoughts on the last question are that I don’t think healing ever ends and sometimes that feels like a heavy burden to carry (the never-endingness of it) and sometimes it feels so exciting and liberating because it means that for our whole lives we get to become more and more ourselves and we always have that to look forward to.
This is probably too long to be a comment XD but I got so much value from reading and I wanted to share what chords it struck for me. Thank you for sharing the gift of your reflections and words. (Also that poetic request!)